Why Small Changes Matter
Living with ADHD often means that everyday life feels more complicated than it “should”. Getting everyone out of the door in the morning, keeping on top of chores, managing appointments, not to mention school admin, it’s a lot.
When your brain struggles with executive function, those everyday demands can feel never-ending.
The truth is, big overhauls rarely work for ADHD families, especially if you’re following traditional advice. They start with good intentions but quickly become overwhelming. What makes a real difference are small, practical tweaks that fit your real life, not someone else’s version of “organised”.
You don’t need a perfect home. You need a home that works for you.
It’s Not You, It’s Your Systems
ADHD affects our ability to plan, prioritise, start and finish tasks. When you’re trying to juggle work, parenting and household management that can create constant stress. We often talk about ADHD in the workplace or at school but forget the executive function involved in parenting and running a home.
It’s not a lack of effort, it’s that traditional systems are designed for neurotypical brains. Once you start building systems that support the ADHD brain, home life starts to feel calmer and more manageable.
Let’s explore a few small changes that can make a big difference.
1. Simplify Your Environment
Visual clutter is mental clutter. Every item your eyes rest on takes up a bit of brain space and for ADHD brains already processing so much, that’s can be exhausting. At the same time for many of us, “out of sight, out of mind” is very real, which means creating an environment with visual cues whilst also avoiding overwhelming clutter.
Start small. Choose one high-traffic area, maybe the kitchen counter, hallway, or living room surface and sort the clutter into categories. Once you’ve sorted you can find the systems that match - perhaps this is the place children’s artwork gets put, if it’s the natural place for children’s artwork we don’t need to force that to change but a basket to contain the artwork is what we need. A label on the container will remind you what it’s for and when it’s full that can be you cue to sort through or put into a longer term storage.
This is just one example, the key steps are:
- Notice and name the clutter.
- Match the system to your habit and needs - don’t fight what you normally do, contain it.
- Add visual cues - a label helps everyone to use the system, keeping systems easy and insight but organised to avoid overwhelm.
Try this: Once you’ve cleared it, notice how your brain feels when you walk into that space. Do you feel calmer? More focused? That’s the power of visual simplicity.
2. Create Visual Cues and Reminders
Working memory can be one of the biggest challenges with ADHD, especially when it doesn’t work. This can result in judgements like lazy and careless and there is no brain training that’s going to fix it. Externalising our working memory is crucial. When you develop systems to reduce pressure on working memory you’ll physically feel the weight being lifted.
Simple ideas to support your working memory:
- Keep a whiteboard in a central place for family reminders or go one step further, create a command centre - keeping everything you need in one place.
- Create a “launch pad” by the door with hooks or trays for keys, bags and school items.
- Use labels to keep things visual but less cluttered.
Visual cues can also be key for children, perhaps you want to encourage your child to get involved in activities off the screen or know they need to move. Especially if your child is demand avoidant, even suggesting they do these things can be met with resistance. Create an environment with visual cues, an art and craft station for example, somewhere easy for them to access and in their eye line to inspire them to get started. Resources to encourage safe movement within the home, yoga balls or indoor trampolines can encourage movement, even if they are watching the TV.
3. Build Gentle Routines, Not Rigid Schedules
Routines are powerful because they reduce decision fatigue. The ADHD brain can get stuck in the “what next?” loop, so predictable rhythms make life smoother.
There is a balance to be had here and a need to really consider the needs of your own family. Rigid timetables often backfire, once a target has been missed it can result in the falling down of the whole routine. You may also find yourself or your child needing routines to reduce decision fatigue but also a craving for novelty - the conflict is real! The key is to build gentle routines anchored to things you already do and with scope for flexibility.
Start with the moments that cause the most stress - mornings, after school, or bedtime. Create a simple visual checklist if needed (yes, even for adults).
Remember: a good routine supports your energy; it doesn’t fight it.
4. Externalise Your Brain
This one could apply to all parents, not just those of us dealing with ADHD. Your brain is full, let’s get some of that out of your head and into the world where you can see it.
Externalising helps reduce mental load and decision overwhelm. Try:
- Shared digital calendars (Google Calendar works brilliantly for families).
- Voice assistants (Alexa, Google, Siri) for reminders and timers.
- Sticky notes or a “brain dump board” to park ideas and to-dos.
When things are visible, they’re manageable. When they live only in your head, they compete for space and attention.
5. Prioritise Rest and Regulation
A calm home starts with a regulated nervous system, yours included and that’s easier said than done when you’re parenting a neurodivergent child. ADHD brains burn energy fast, and when we’re dysregulated or overstimulated, organisation becomes impossible.
Build small moments of rest into your day. A recharge station for yourself! Consider what helps you recharge, is it your favourite tea under a blanket in front of the TV (this is mine) or something else? My recharge station is the sofa, always with a blanket ready to use and a table in the perfect location for me to reach my tea (ideally also with the TV remote ready to use but hey we’re ADHD, I can’t hope for too much). It’s simple but so effective.
If reading, journalling, listening to music is your recharge, set up your recharge station so you have exactly what you need. Also consider your sensory needs, would a weighted blanket help? Do you prefer low light? Does noise help or would noise-cancelling headphones be more helpful? This is about you, not about some perfect instagram worthy home but a home that gives you what you need.
Parenting is exhausting, even more so if you have a neurodivergent child, whether you’re neurodivergent or not you deserve this little space for you. Your rest will benefit those around you as well as you.
Bringing It All Together
You don’t have to change everything. Start with one small thing, a cleared counter, a new reminder system or a recharge station (I think this one is the most important). ADHD-friendly homes aren’t perfect homes; they’re homes built to support real life, energy levels and executive function.
Each small change adds up, creating space for more calm, connection and confidence.
Need a Bit More Help?
If you’re ready for tailored, practical strategies that fit your home and your brain, I can help.
- 🕒 Book a Power Hour: One focused session where we talk through your challenges and create realistic systems you can start using right away.
- 💻 At home support: Want your recharge station, launch pad, command centre and more set up for you - we can do that too.
Let’s make your home work for you.